At the gym yesterday (I know, gym? In the summer? Believe me, when its 103 outside the gym is way better than running the streets, and mooching the a/c and watching free Olympics coverage…it was a win-win.) I was in the woman’s locker room using the restroom and notice a naked woman standing in front of the mirror alone. As I closed the door to the stall I kept my eye on her (in the least creepy way as possible) starring at herself, clearly judging body.

She was touching her belly button, noticing the curves of her breast, the stretch marks on her hips darker than the rest of her skin. Her hair still wet from the shower, she threw it behind her shoulders in frustration. Naked woman was probably in her early 40s, had enough confidence to stand completely and utterly stark naked in the middle of the gym locker room and stare herself down, yet I could see in her reflection the judgment she was passing. The hate she had for the bit of un-toned arm between her breast and armpit, she judge it and dropped her hand and her side, brushing her rounded bottom, annoyed with this action too.

Sitting on the toilette spying on this woman through the crack, I wished I could hear her inner dialogue. Suddenly she moved out of view, I finished up my business and stepped out only to hear the crash of the analogue scale being thrown back to zero. She was clearly unhappy with the weight the scale told her.


This made me start to think about myself, how I view my body, how I’ve viewed my body in the past and all that negative self-talk that we all create from time to time. I remember being 11 years old and grabbing my belly crying wishing I could just some how cut off the fat. When I was 14 I figured I was going to be heavy my entire life and feeling bad about it would ‘just go away’ when I got older. As I lost weight as a 19 and 20 year old I heard older women in my life have negative self-talk about how jealous they were of my youth and ability to lose weight and how they were not feeling good in their bodies. Does this negative inner voice ever quiet itself?

How can make sure we treating our bodies, minds and souls with the respect they deserve.They are the only ones we have, so we need to keep them healthy and happy. What are you doing today to keep your body, mind, heart, soul healthy?

Warning: Not For Those With A Queasy Stomach

Wearing perfume and cologne to the gym is beyond me. I rarely wear it in real life let alone when I know I’m going to get sweaty and gross. I guess I can understand if it’s in the afternoon or after work, you’ve already done real life things, gotten dressed for the day…etc. but today I was on the elliptical next to a guy named, for the sake of discretion we’ll call him Larry.

Larry comes to the gym around 8:15am, he’s in great shape, pretty good looking, wears all the ‘right stuff’ to workout in, he carries a water bottle (BPA free of course) full of what looks like a protein shake, he listens to an I-pod all the time, and then this morning he hoped on the elliptical next to me. Back up a moment, I’ve seen him at the gym before—in fact I usually smell him before I actually see him. At 8:15am he’s already bathed in what I imagine is some knock off version of some really expensive cologne.

Now I can only imagine a few scenarios in which it would be appropriate to be wearing perfume this early in the morning:

A.) You had a fantastic date the night before, spent the night somewhere random but HAD to get up in the morning for a workout. (in this case I expect nothing less than sex hair, runny make-up and a BIG grin on your face from all the romping you had the night before.)

B.) Your significant other said you smelled really bad from your workout last night and chased you out of the house with a spritzer bottle full of flowery/citrusy scents. (Even this is hard to justify. I go to bed after a work out and then work out again in the morning and don’t feel the need to bath in flowers before sweating again. But alas, I AM still single…)

C.) You ate a lot of veggies and beans the night before and anticipate farting through out your entire gym experience. (Gross. Just gross that you plan on this happening, and gross that you think that cologne will in any way shape or form cover up your nasty farts.)

D.) You don’t wear perfume. You naturally smell like rushing waves from Hawaii with a soft note of coconut and undertones of sandalwood.

Which one do you think I think Larry thinks? (does that make sense? Read it again.) DING DING DING! C. C is what I think Larry thinks is the correct answer. Now, to continue on with my experience of elliptizing next to Larry—first the cologne, then the farts (I should have followed the girl on the other side of him and just left within the first 10 minutes. But I had to get my work out on so I endured.)

So I mentioned that Larry is in good shape, right? Well, it must be due to his elliptical technique—I’ve never in my life seen someone go as fast or as intense as him. Watching him out of the corner of my eye I noticed his hunched over stance (no bueno,) and fast moving arms, pumping along with his fast music. Now, it’s great to go fast on the elliptical but one must be aware of facial expressions, flatulence, sweat drippage and noises coming from your face.

Larry is completely oblivious to these things. I hate to say this on, what I think of as a [mostly] family friendly blog, but I can’t help but wonder what Larry is like in the bedroom. The veins bulging from his forehead and his intensely focused energy lead my mind curious and wondering who is wife is and how she deals with the farts, amazing amounts of sweat dripping on what’s beneath him, at that moment is was the elliptical.

Lesson of this story is I guess don’t wear cologne or perfume to the gym. That’s all. And maybe don’t go on the elliptical next to me and fart and then make me think about sex. That was a weird and confused train of thought I had while Al Rocher and Anne Curry gave me my soft news report this morning.


PS: Sorry for the lack of pictures, WordPress is being annoying and not letting me upload.

Rat Race

I don’t have any recent adventures to speak of. To be totally honest I’ve been a total gym rat lately. I have been trying to get in one long trail run a week, that didn’t happen last week, and maybe a run or two mid week, those didn’t really happen last week either. I’ve failed on the runner part of my self-description. Oh well, I’m okay with that right now.

I did, however, go for a run with the girls trail running group that leaves from the store I work at—I’m slow, really slow, so I got left behind…in the dark…wearing shoes that were too big, kinda weird and brand new, (review on this shoe to come, I have to give them another chance before I have a real opinion of them.)

You know the movie Now and Thenwith the four girls that are best friends? They do everything together! They contact the dead, tackle big issues like divorce, boys, boobs and kissing. These girls love and hate each other, the chubby one gets her pig tail pooped on, yeah, that that one is me, shit like that happens to me.

There’s a scene in the movie where all the girls are biking and the chubby one is left behind on an unfamiliar road far behind her best friends. Well, that happened to me last week. Only we were running, on trails, IN THE DARK. Not cool people, not cool at all.

Lesson learned: run faster. Or, go to the gym where the weights weigh the same, the elliptical still goes no where, and there’s a sauna to sweat out all toxins and memories of being left behind. Sometimes a girl just needs to get her gym on, ya know?