I, like so many twenty-somethings (heck, probably most people,) often wonder what am I doing? I’m currently asking myself this question from a little town in Central Thailand. I do many of the same things here as I did in my little valley town of Ashland only the back drop here is just slightly different. I sit in coffee shops and sip on americanos while writing in my journal, I Facebook, I read, I people watch, I wander the streets in hopes of finding someone I know or in hopes of meeting a new friend (however unlikely that is here).
I enjoy the small things here in SE Asia as well as in America, and I stress about them all the same—Thailand is no different, for some reason I thought I wouldn’t bring my normal stress here. I thought I’d be able to leave it behind, figure it out and breeze through this whole experience with Unicorns, rainbows and puppy dogs frolicking around me the entire time. Not the case.
—
I cried the other day. I stupidly cried. And I admitted to myself [and my director] that this is hard. Really hard. I found myself saying that this is a challenge. Which is fine [more than fine]. I heard myself tell her that because this is a challenge I can succeed. I will succeed. [I hadn’t realized that before the words popped out of my mouth.] This is what I signed up for. This challenge.
Looking back through my history I remember what successes I’ve had. Moments that were struggles, reasons that I cried, and steps I had to take to over come my fears. I’ve trained and run long races, I’ve had hard jobs, I’ve taken classes with tough professors. I can do this.
My mother has always said I’m stubborn (see number 3). Damn straight I’m stubborn.
Puppies are on the way
thesolesearch 
Dear Sloan,
I believe that every thinking person at every age wonders “what am I doing?”. Every person deals or does not deal with it in their own way. I finally added two words. “What am I doing ‘for others?’. It has really helped.
Love and strength to you.
Sloan, I think about how you I met and became close friends. And I how I sent you an email about a race – thinking about how I thought we were going to to do a 12 hour race but you had read about the 24 hr race and that’s what you wanted to do. We made it, and the people along the way helped us make – Holly and Kathy how we talked and motivated each other – on that hot hot pavement – Mrs. McCoy (i believe) who welcomed US complete strangers in to her home – that long long long climb up that mountain in the middle of the night – how much it sucked – but how amazing it felt flying down it – then going little to fast –
I guess what I’m trying to say is – You can do this – You will make it – Your going to climb so many more mountains – some harder then others – but in the end you will accomplished what so few have even thought off – you’ll be amazed at how strong physically and mentally you are. And just remember that you are amazing. Fyi Unicorns don’t taste as good as the meat on sticks in the markets there.
Love and hugs
Sero
Damnit Mike, you’re making me cry all over again!!!!! I expect to drink that Founders IPA in the near future with you!
love and hugs.
“Tears, contain all that is with in us, good and bad. They allow you to wash away the bad – but allow you to feel the goodness they contain as they role down your cheek.”
MWS
I’ll have a case ready for us.
Sometimes crying is cathartic. I think I’ll go cry it out too over my lunch break. Life is confusing :).
It’s TOTALLY confusing…hence why I’m up past my bedtime trolling internet blogs and making new friends 😛