I’m angry. I’m not an angry person at all. I’m fairly mellow, maybe too mellow type of person sometimes. But being unable to hit the trails or sidewalks—hell, I can’t even walk without cringing in pain… I’m becoming angry and crazy. I am living/suffering proof that running is therapy. It’s MY therapy. Running clears my head and balances my life a bit better than any other form of psychoanalysis I’ve ever put myself through. (Can I get an AMEN?)
Not being able to run sucks. Yupp, I said it—these past few weeks hobbling around in pain, unable to jump, run or detox my brain have been hard. Not only physically am I suffering, but mentally I’m losing it. A few years ago I was unable to run for nearly an entire summer, but I went to the gym daily, talked about running all day while working at Gazelle Sports, helped people get into the right shoes and prepare for their race. For some reason that sufficed, but I have since become more of a ‘runner’ and need that endorphin lift I get from moving my body.
Now I’m unable to run once again, I’m still going to the gym regularly; however, I’ve found myself to be stressed out, annoyed and downright angry. I’m angry at all those runners outside in the spring weather, while I’m slaving away on the elliptical. Yesterday a woman hopped on the treadmill and started running—I was sooooooooooo angry. I was angry at her not because she was running but because she was running INSIDE when it was 62 degrees and sunny out! Puh-leeeeeze!! How could she be on the treadmill?! Teasing and taunting me with her perfect pace, her upcoming half marathon, and then had the nerve to complain that it was too hot in the gym! Maybe the steam coming out of my ears was what was making the gym so hot, my tension release comes so easily to those non-injured.
Anyone who has felt that ‘exercise high’ we all strive for will know how I feel and what I’m talking about. So I ask you to do me a favor on your next run, walk, and exercise routine: take a moment to breathe it in. Take a moment to appreciate what your body is doing for you, and in turn, what you are doing for your body. That feeling of clarity, sweat, and the ability to power your body forward and use your muscles is priceless. Enjoy it, savor it, and do it as often as you can.
I’m off to the MD tomorrow in hopes of figuring out how I can get back to running. In the mean time I’ll be the girl in the corner doing squats, lunges and waiting in line for the elliptical.