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My Wave is Coming.

/ Sloan / 3 Comments

I’ve been avoiding writing a blog for a week or two due to the fact that once I really write about it, it makes it real-er. What is ‘it’? ‘It’ is the stress fracture that my doctor saw on the MRI I got. A stress fracture in my sacrum—which, according to my almost-doctor-roommate, doctor friend, and actual doctor I went to see—it’s a hard bone to fracture. I guess I’m just that talented! So besides going crazy what am I doing, you ask? I’ve been lifting, biking, sleeping in, listening to my body. I’ve had to listen reallllly hard. Usually I ignore those aches and pains and power through the pain and just attribute it to soreness—but this time it’s different, I truly need to let my body heal. And this is going to take time. Today is week 6.

 A while ago a man I met on the road gave me a book. He’s a fellow runner and athlete and gave me the book called The Wave: In Pursuit of the Rogues, Freaks and Giants of the Ocean. Nothing to do with running really, but about the people in Hawaii chasing the biggest wave they can find. Catching that high that makes them get up in the morning, head to the beach and get on their board to surf this crazy ocean that seems angry, the water gets so big and so powerful I wonder why anyone would want to put themselves in the middle of that fight.

The book is great, I’m fascinated with this lifestyle. But then I hear about how these men, all of them, have suffered broken bones, impalings on the reefs, cuts, bruises, sprains, stitches and concussions. Yet they still go back. They heal, they bounce back and maybe they’re better for it. They’re out for weeks, maybe months healing, watching their friends catch the big waves and supporting them while they have to sit on the beach and watch. That’s me. I’m sitting out. Every week I get an email from my running group, Bob tells the group how far they need to run to be in condition for their spring time marathon, where and when they’re meeting. Then I text my friend and wish her a good run, and she texts me back saying she’ll miss my company on the run but “get healthy!”

The running community is a great support. I’m lucky to be a part of it, but I’m broken right now but I will be back, I will train for that rogue, freak or giant that is out there for me to conquer. This time off is just going to make me stronger for it…

Off to the recumbent bike and some weights! For those of you training, those of you who have been supportive to me in my craziness—thank you. Good luck in your races! I’ll be cheering for you!!!

The Waiting Game

/ Sloan / 3 Comments

I’ve entered the waiting game. It’s a game that tests my patience, my strength, my creativity and sees how well I can follow directions. So far the game is tied: 1-1.

The Doctor took and X-ray and saw nothing, she then told me not to run, (duh, I can barely walk) not to do squats, lunges or thigh machines. I shouldn’t do the elliptical if it hurts, but the bike is okay. In the mean time I got an MRI (holy loud and claustrophobia!) and am trying to keep myself busy at the gym with weights and ab workouts—and now I wait, I wait 48 hours (now we’re at about 34 hours) until the doctor is supposed to call me and tell me if she sees a stress fracture or not. Stress. Fracture. Two of the most dreaded words a runner can hear.

Before I left her office Monday she told me I needed more calcium, (I grew up with a phobia of milk) so, lady runners, please start taking a supplement NOW The chocolate chew things are a nice sweet ending to a meal that gives you your daily calcium!

Now I’m left in limbo. Floating in this middle area where I’m afraid that if I push it I will permanently damage something or some bone that is important, and in this area where I lose my level of productivity if I’m not getting in some sort of workout daily. I’m scrambling something to satisfy what both my mind and body needs.

So what am I doing?  How am I taking control? I’m looking back, reevaluating my fitness routine and adding in weights. I used to lift often and then got obsessed with cardio and running. I’m finding if I pump the iron before I attempt some sort of cardio I get a great 30-45 minutes weight lifting working out in! Lift first, attempt cardio second, (I say attempt because if it hurts I DON’T DO IT!)

I am going to win this game. Enough said. My Dad used to have a t-shirt that said “ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING” it’s generally not programmed into my personality to be super positive, in this case I’m pulling a George and doing what I normally wouldn’t do—I’m staying ridiculously positive that I WILL be running again, I WILLwalk normal, I WILLbe able to pull my jeans on without having to sit down.  My Dad also had a t-shirt that said “NO PAIN—NO GAIN” I know it’s going to be hard, it was hard to get out of bed at 6:30 this morning just to get on the bike I miss running, I miss going fast outside, I miss it.

1-1.  Injury’s point came when the pain was so great that I couldn’t get on the elliptical (my last grasp at sorta feeling like I was running,) my point came when I got creative: hot yoga, intervals on the bike and a killer ab workout. Any tips or workout suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

Now, I wait… and if you know me at all: I’m not very patient.

Anger

/ Sloan / 4 Comments

I’m angry. I’m not an angry person at all. I’m fairly mellow, maybe too mellow type of person sometimes. But being unable to hit the trails or sidewalks—hell, I can’t even walk without cringing in pain… I’m becoming angry and crazy. I am living/suffering proof that running is therapy. It’s MY therapy. Running clears my head and balances my life a bit better than any other form of psychoanalysis I’ve ever put myself through. (Can I get an AMEN?)

Not being able to run sucks. Yupp, I said it—these past few weeks hobbling around in pain, unable to jump, run or detox my brain have been hard. Not only physically am I suffering, but mentally I’m losing it. A few years ago I was unable to run for nearly an entire summer, but I went to the gym daily, talked about running all day while working at Gazelle Sports, helped people get into the right shoes and prepare for their race. For some reason that sufficed, but I have since become more of a ‘runner’ and need that endorphin lift I get from moving my body.

Now I’m unable to run once again, I’m still going to the gym regularly; however, I’ve found myself to be stressed out, annoyed and downright angry. I’m angry at all those runners outside in the spring weather, while I’m slaving away on the elliptical. Yesterday a woman hopped on the treadmill and started running—I was sooooooooooo angry. I was angry at her not because she was running but because she was running INSIDE when it was 62 degrees and sunny out! Puh-leeeeeze!! How could she be on the treadmill?! Teasing and taunting me with her perfect pace, her upcoming half marathon, and then had the nerve to complain that it was too hot in the gym! Maybe the steam coming out of my ears was what was making the gym so hot, my tension release comes so easily to those non-injured.

 Anyone who has felt that ‘exercise high’ we all strive for will know how I feel and what I’m talking about. So I ask you to do me a favor on your next run, walk, and exercise routine: take a moment to breathe it in. Take a moment to appreciate what your body is doing for you, and in turn, what you are doing for your body. That feeling of clarity, sweat, and the ability to power your body forward and use your muscles is priceless. Enjoy it, savor it, and do it as often as you can.

I’m off to the MD tomorrow in hopes of figuring out how I can get back to running. In the mean time I’ll be the girl in the corner doing squats, lunges and waiting in line for the elliptical.