Uncategorized

Warning: Not For Those With A Queasy Stomach

/ Sloan / 7 Comments

Wearing perfume and cologne to the gym is beyond me. I rarely wear it in real life let alone when I know I’m going to get sweaty and gross. I guess I can understand if it’s in the afternoon or after work, you’ve already done real life things, gotten dressed for the day…etc. but today I was on the elliptical next to a guy named, for the sake of discretion we’ll call him Larry.

Larry comes to the gym around 8:15am, he’s in great shape, pretty good looking, wears all the ‘right stuff’ to workout in, he carries a water bottle (BPA free of course) full of what looks like a protein shake, he listens to an I-pod all the time, and then this morning he hoped on the elliptical next to me. Back up a moment, I’ve seen him at the gym before—in fact I usually smell him before I actually see him. At 8:15am he’s already bathed in what I imagine is some knock off version of some really expensive cologne.

Now I can only imagine a few scenarios in which it would be appropriate to be wearing perfume this early in the morning:

A.) You had a fantastic date the night before, spent the night somewhere random but HAD to get up in the morning for a workout. (in this case I expect nothing less than sex hair, runny make-up and a BIG grin on your face from all the romping you had the night before.)

B.) Your significant other said you smelled really bad from your workout last night and chased you out of the house with a spritzer bottle full of flowery/citrusy scents. (Even this is hard to justify. I go to bed after a work out and then work out again in the morning and don’t feel the need to bath in flowers before sweating again. But alas, I AM still single…)

C.) You ate a lot of veggies and beans the night before and anticipate farting through out your entire gym experience. (Gross. Just gross that you plan on this happening, and gross that you think that cologne will in any way shape or form cover up your nasty farts.)

D.) You don’t wear perfume. You naturally smell like rushing waves from Hawaii with a soft note of coconut and undertones of sandalwood.

Which one do you think I think Larry thinks? (does that make sense? Read it again.) DING DING DING! C. C is what I think Larry thinks is the correct answer. Now, to continue on with my experience of elliptizing next to Larry—first the cologne, then the farts (I should have followed the girl on the other side of him and just left within the first 10 minutes. But I had to get my work out on so I endured.)

So I mentioned that Larry is in good shape, right? Well, it must be due to his elliptical technique—I’ve never in my life seen someone go as fast or as intense as him. Watching him out of the corner of my eye I noticed his hunched over stance (no bueno,) and fast moving arms, pumping along with his fast music. Now, it’s great to go fast on the elliptical but one must be aware of facial expressions, flatulence, sweat drippage and noises coming from your face.

Larry is completely oblivious to these things. I hate to say this on, what I think of as a [mostly] family friendly blog, but I can’t help but wonder what Larry is like in the bedroom. The veins bulging from his forehead and his intensely focused energy lead my mind curious and wondering who is wife is and how she deals with the farts, amazing amounts of sweat dripping on what’s beneath him, at that moment is was the elliptical.

Lesson of this story is I guess don’t wear cologne or perfume to the gym. That’s all. And maybe don’t go on the elliptical next to me and fart and then make me think about sex. That was a weird and confused train of thought I had while Al Rocher and Anne Curry gave me my soft news report this morning.

 

PS: Sorry for the lack of pictures, WordPress is being annoying and not letting me upload.

The Versatile Blogger

/ Sloan / 2 Comments

Like my friend and former co-worker, Whitney said in her nomination—I’m still trying to figure out what this Versatile blogger nomination means. I’m touched that she reads and comments on my blog enough to nominate me for something!

            I’m not sure why I began blogging, but it’s been over a year now and I love that it gives me a reason to write; though I don’t do it as often as I want, one can’t force inspiration or motivation to write and create. But I love both and try to be regular about it. With this nomination there are a few rules:

 

The rules of accepting the nomination are as follows:

 

   1. Thank the person who nominated me.

   2. Include a link to his/her blog.

   3. Nominate fifteen blogs I enjoy and follow.

   4. Lastly, tell you seven things about myself.

 

My list of seven things about me:

 

   1. In July of 2011 I quit my high paying (for a 23 year old) job, adventured and raced all summer then moved from Baltimore, MD to Ashland, OR. I wish I’d spent more time in between but most days I’m really happy to be here.

   2. I’ve moved almost every 3 years of my life, every year of my adult life and I’ve been here for 6 months and it’s making me antsy—but that’s okay.

   3. A cup of coffee is a routine. And it’s a routine that’s good alone but better with a good friend and conversation.

   4. I used to be a cat person but I’m finding myself loving dogs lately.

   5. Running and exercise is the best therapy. Moving your body can solve so much.

   6. I loved writing when I was a kid and I love it again now—proof that we should remember who we wanted to be when we were 6 years old.

   7. I believe that everyone has a story worth listening to.

 

My 15 bloggers that I am nominating and you should check out:

 

  1. Whitney: Grace is Controlled
  2. Adrienne: Veggie Von Vivant
  3. Jill: Dreaming Listfully
  4. Rogue Valley Runners: Rogue Valley Runners
  5. Timothy: Sole to Soul
  6. Sarah: Wanderlust
  7. Jeremy: I’ll Sleep While You Drive
  8. Shut Up and Run: Shut Up and Run
  9. Hungry Runner Girl
  10. Beth: Beth Carroll

I actually don’t read that many blogs. These are 10 that I do follow and love. Enjoy!

 

Thank you thank you thank you Whitney for the nomination! I admire you and am honored!

 

 

 

Connecting Some Dots (and dealing with pain)

/ Sloan / Leave a comment

Sooooooooooooooo remember when I broke my butt last year? Yeah, I try to forget those 14 weeks of my life too. Well, from the way it feels these past few days I think my butt is broken again. I had, at one point, gotten x-rays and an MRI to see what was wrong and the doctor told me I had a stress fracture in my sacrum—right? I know! Crazy sauce. All I could do was not run, not sit for hours on end and the exercise I was allowed was “whatever didn’t make it hurt” (aka: the recumbent bike and eventually the elliptical)

In an effort to not recreate those awful 14 weeks I’m taking this week off of running. I’m going to concentrate on lifting, maybe pop back in the pool a few times, I’m also trying out some new cardio machines at the gym. Having an injury SUCKS. We’re not going to down play that, that’s why I’m trying to catch it before it becomes full blown, but I’m going to take this annoying pain in my ass (literally and figuratively,) and turn it into a new focus. That’s all I can do, right? We can’t control everything, so don’t even bother trying.

A child hood friend passed away two weeks ago (Brenner) and that SUCKS, (no other way to say it, it sucks). Nothing I can do can change that. Instead of crying all time I’m remembering the awesome times we had. I’m reminiscing with his sister and my big brother. I’m flying to NYC in a month and a half to celebrate the life of such and amazing person. Yes I’m sad, really really sad. But it’s also opening my eyes to what’s really really important. My family, my friends, my health. I’m taking control of the things I have control over, like who I send letters and emails to, who I call, who I get in touch with, what I spend my time doing.

How am I looping this story back to my butt you ask? By taking on a challenge we can’t control we end up learning something. My butt hurts, so today I’m going to do the stair stepper. I’m sad about Brenner, I’m going to call his sister that I LOVE and remember the time that her brother helped her, her friend and I record a Beatles song in their basement when we were teenyboppers.

Don’t-not-be-sad, remember to cry, but also remember that your butt still needs exercise and memories are supposed to be remembered and both of those things are what keep us alive!