I write best when I’m lying in bed trying to sleep.
Or taking a shower.
Or when I’m having a conversation with… anyone really. I loose my attention, I zone out, form witty, funny sentences that I imagine my 10s of readers will enjoy.

And then I sit down to write. And it’s gone, it’s lost and forgotten. It will probably never return again, until I’m slightly buzzed and drifting off to sleep. Sometimes when I’m shaving my legs I make myself laugh with how hilarious I am. I rinse still thinking about it, towel off and put on lotion–my hands still slick with Lubraderm I sit to write it down and BOOM, it’s gone. Just like that. Out of my head, left me to go find someone who will take this thing more seriously.

Take this thing more seriously… I suppose I should get a waterproof notebook, one I can keep in my pocket at all times. Though, I rarely have pockets, I wear a lot of leggings and athletic pants. And have you SEEN the pockets on women’s jeans?! PLEASE! They hardly hold a nickle let alone my favorite Moleskin journal! And what pocket are we talking about if I’m in the shower… get outta there!

Okay. Time to get distracted so maybe I can focus on writing more.

Radio Voice

I’m an introvert that loves public speaking, is in sales, and volunteers to MC at events. I was on TV last week. I just got off the radio 10 minutes ago; that was my second radio ‘appearance’ this week.

First off: let’s make sure everyone knows what at introvert is.

>An introvert prefers to spend time alone in order to recharge their inner being. An introvert may appear to be shy to others, but that is not necessarily an accurate label.

I’m not SHY, I just get really tired after I have to be social. I know MANY people who are the same way, so please don’t argue with me if you know me in real life. Us introverts, we gather energy away from all you other people. We drive around without the radio on after having to talk all day, we put headphones in at the gym with no music on just so no one will talk to us, we come home to a book and tea after work before we head out to go get drinks with a small group of close friends. We do that to make sure we have enough energy for the voice, for the people, for the social interactions that we want to be present for.

Anyway. I’ve been in sales my entire adult life–which is profession that a lot of extroverts flock to. Sometimes, when I’m sale-ing at work, or when I’ve done TV spots, or radio gigs–I hear myself. I float above my body and I listen to what is coming out of my mouth. It’s all real, it’s all genuine, but it’s in that voice. You know the one; you can literally hear the smile. Kinda bull-shitty, kinda not. You like the person you’re listening to, but you can kinda almost sense the self loathing, the what the fuck am I doing with my life, what did I do to deserve this exactly moment? That voice that is getting the point across, impressing less intuitive people, selling the product, getting the signature… that voice.

No? Okay. I guess it’s just me.


I (not so secretly) kind of love instagram. Love to absolutely hate it. I aggressively roll my eyes at all the people talking into their phones (while kinda secretly wishing that people cared enough about what I was doing to justify doing it myself…)

Anyway, (hashtag) #selfcare is generally used when people are (hashtagging) #treatyoself or buying a pricey Starbucks latte drinks, getting a manicure on a retail workers budget, or taking a bubble bath. (Damnit, I really want a bathtub… soon enough I’m promised).

Tonight my #selfcare is calling the damn HealthCare.gov people and figuring out my insurance. BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT ADULTS DO. So sexy, I know. However, I’m doing it while wearing a face mask, fuzzy slippers, and sipping a Pamplemousse La Croix. Why? Because I’m fancy AF.

Little did I know that while calling the Marketplace I would feel like I needed to be wearing something other than my stained sweatpants and hoodie that I picked up off the floor, I should have found my LBD hidden away in the back of my closet, wearing sexy clothes makes your voice sexier, right? Little did I know that Carlos was going to answer. Carlos, ladies, is (in my mind,) a sexy Taye Diggs look alike with a voice like butta’ and glutes to bounce a quarter off of… (Wow, I kinda hate myself for saying this. But in all honesty, his voice was distracting to the task at hand.)

Okay, wait, wait, wait–do people even know who Taye Diggs is any more? If you don’t, click here, and here, and HERE for sure.

Anyway, I had point here and clearly got distracted googling Taye while listening to Carlos read me back about my martial status, income level, and how I will qualify for a tax credit on my health care plan…ooooh yeah, baby, keep talking.

Point is… You can have you face mask and actually do some #selfcare too. I HIGHLY recommend speaking with Carlos when you call, he makes the whole painful process a little bit better.