Author: Sloan

Frustration

/ Sloan / Leave a comment

Frustration grows when you can’t do what you want.

I’ve struggled with some stomach issue for the past seven days, (I’ll spare you the gory details,) but at the end of it, I pretty much survived off of saltines and chicken broth for the better part of last week. Those two items fail to give an active body the energy she needs–so my brain was foggy, I had to re-arrange my clients because by 3pm I couldn’t really concentrate long enough to count reps and encourage anyone to do anything. My mind was home, on my couch, in front of Netflix and hoping that adding avocado to my broth wouldn’t upset my stomach to too much. (It did…)

So for five days I slept a lot, did the bare minimum at work. Came home and went to bed. I didn’t work out, I didn’t swim, I ubered and took a lot of buses, instead of walking like I usual. I was all sorts out of wack. I went through the weekend doing all the social things I wanted to do and just paid the price that was coming when I decided to have a cocktail or two on a basically week long empty stomach. Thank goodness for stretchy leggings and dresses to hide my bloat and discomfort.

So my frustration has come from being unable to DO WHAT I WANT when I have been feeling a bit better. I’m by no means eating normal meals yet, but I’m able to eat enough to not feel like I’m foggy and going to fall over. I was invited to try out a Soul Cycle class this morning. YES!  A new challenge. I’ve never really been one for group classes, or riding a bike that’s going no where, but it was free and with my girls from works, so why not!?

Fast forward to about 25 minutes into the class: heart rate racing, sweat dripping into my eyes, feeling sick and dizzy and having a super cool instructor yelling for us to peddle harder and KEEP GOING.

DAMNIT, I CAN’T. (Any other day, any other week I would have been super into it, super excited, super stoked to be getting my ass kicked in a whole new way. But after a week of being sick–not so into it.)

So my frustration grows; I’m in shape, I’m fit, I can work HARDER THAN THIS. But this morning I couldn’t. And I had to remind myself of this through out the entire class. That not being able to push myself as hard as usual isn’t my fault. That getting sick happens and I’m still recovering. I had to say “Hey Sloan, remember that tiny breakfast you ate this morning?Remember how your stomach hurt after just 150 calories of oatmeal? That wasn’t enough fuel for this, don’t beat yourself up for recovering!”

Moral of this story–I started to get really mad and pissed at myself for not being able ‘to do it’ this morning. But, I did. I’m actively learning to give myself leeway, to be sure to approach fitness as something I get to do and enjoy it. And not have it be yet another reason to beat myself up. Moving your body is always the right decision, however, how hard you are able to push yourself may not be in your control. And relinquishing that control is just as hard as that Spin class.

 

 

 

 

A Small Part of a Huge Journey

/ Sloan / 2 Comments

Apparently when asked to write for SOMEONE ELSE’S site I’m fulling capable of whipping up a piece that I’m proud of. Please take a moment to read my blog post on amazing woman’s site, Nikki Nigl, and then take another few minutes to check out what she’s doing for the women in the community. She’s pretty amazing and I’m so happy to be a part of this journey.

Stop The Should-ing

/ Sloan / Leave a comment

For some reason I carry around a lot of guilt. I do a lot of “should-ing” and I fill my brain and heart with these ideas of what I’m doing wrong instead of what I’m doing right. Day in and day out there is constant flow of negativity running through my mind. It’s like an endless wall of ants marching to bring their Queen Ant food. You put something in the ant’s way and they just find a different path OR just climb over the obstical. There is no room for any other way to think. I don’t know if I can stop that train of ants from creeping into my mind but I can try and devert them and slow them down by listing a few things I’ve done well or right for myself so far in 2016.

  1. I rested. I didn’t work out for a full week. My FitBit read 1,087 steps on Friday and 1,123 steps on Sunday. I rested because I’ve been sick. I WAS SICK–NOT LAZY.
  2. I said ‘No’. Latly, when it comes to my career, I’ve been running around the city of Chicago like a crazy person. Picking up new clients, new jobs, hours and skills. My new boss asked me for more of my time. She asked me to come in on Tuesday morning and then come back for a closing shift. That would be I would be there at 8am-3pm. Clock out. Come back at 5:30pm-9pm. It takes me 45 minutes to get home from work. So I would basically either have 30 minutes to chill at home before coming back or go sit at Starbucks for two hours. Nope. I said, “I just can’t do that at this point.” Saying ‘no’ is so scary. But so empoowering.
  3.  I asked for company. Being sick is boring. I asked someone for company and he came from across town and watched cooking shows from the early 2000’s with me on Netflix. He let me be whiny and terrible. (Don’t worry, I wasn’t contagious.)
  4. I stretched. I’m the worse at stretching. And my sore back and tight shoulders are the ones that pay the price. I’ve made it a habit to sit with my clients and stretch along side with them. Teaching them how to stretch on their own and giving my muscles the attention they deserve.
  5. I got to therapy. Every. Damn. Week. Life got rough and I needed help, (I know, white girl, first world problems) but you know what? SHUT UP. . Problems are in the eye of the problem-holder and I’m not going to apologize or explain to anyone about my life and my issues. In October I started seeing a therapist and it’s honestly the best health-thing I’ve done for myself, ever.

This list was a lot harder to sit down and write than I origonally anticipated. I kept reverting back to “Well, I could say this, but actually I SHOULD have done it this way…” My brain is hard wired to “should on myself” and I’m sick of it. I can’t be the only one that does this. Share with me. Share times you’ve taken time for yourself and DIDN’T beat yourself up for what you “should” have done.