A Gentle Guide

This blog has morphed. I started writing for The Sole Search in the winter of 2011 with the intent to discover new cities, towns and countryside via running. I was going to run and discover cute coffee shops and book stores and then visit them after a shower and tell you all about them. The original plan was to propose a TV show idea to the Travel Channel. Obviously, that idea only lasted for a short time.

            But I continued to run, and write and write about running and my triumphs and struggles not only with running, but with it’s community, and other sports too. As I discovered my love for trails, my passion for finding myself out there, doors opened and ideas flowed. She’s there somewhere, I’m just on the hunt for who she is…who she’s turning into. Because, let’s be honest, the only constant is change so we may as well embrace it.

 

“Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it” –Andre Gide

 

The tag line for The Sole Search has turned into my life’s desire. Searching for my soul via my soles. I’m always looking. Whether or not it’s while I run, (which I honestly haven’t done in a long time, and I am finding peace with that) riding my bike, working at a bar, pumping away at the elliptical, sitting on my deck with a book and a glass of wine or swimming endless laps in a pool as I prepare to do 1/3 of a triathlon this fall—I’m searching, I think we all are.

 

People who love me have accepted my flighty lifestyle. They know that I [runaway] move around a lot. They embrace it and know that I’ll come back around to where they are eventually. They remind me that I have friends all over the world. I’m the one that has not accepted this. I’m working at allowing myself to be okay with this. It’s hard. I have a hard time staying put, relaxing and being somewhere. It’s not that I don’t want to but that I think when I know where/with whom I want that with I’ll know. Or maybe I won’t—

Convo with my Mother

Convo with my Mother

 

So for now I search. For now I travel seeking, learning and embracing life as it comes at me. On this path I’m reading and learning and discovering all the people I can learn from along the way. Instead of discovering a coffee shop while on a run, I will sit in that coffee shop and write and read and ponder.

 

My newest venture to the Yoga Ashram is one way that I am being proactive in finding comfort somewhere. Life is going to happen no matter what. We can sit back and assume it’s going to be awesome, or we can take it by the reins, grip tightly and gently direct it toward something awesome.

 

That’s my plan.

 

Join me if you will, I’d love to have you along for the ride.

Commitments and Intentions

I’ve been putting off writing. Putting it off in the same way that I have been putting off many things that I generally love: writing, reading, running, crafting, cooking…to be honest today and yesterday were the first times I had written in my journal in over a month. I cannot tell you the last time I went for a run. Not sure what’s happening here…

            I have been doing other things—I’ve been practicing yoga. I’ve been swimming. I’ve been recovering from a mouth surgery. I’ve been watching scary movies in the middle of the day that way the demons can’t get me. I’ve been flirting with old men to get better tips. I’ve been drinking afternoon IPAs at the brewery. I was able to watch two of my dear friends get married this weekend. They made an intensely beautiful commitment to one another.

 

Commitment.

 

noun

noun: commitment; plural noun: commitments

1.

            the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, etc..

2.

an engagement or obligation that restricts freedom of action

 

What about that second definition isn’t terrifying? Why do I have this fear of settling down? I’m afraid to stay in one place but I’m also afraid of the repercussions of not committing to something. So I made a large financial and time commitment for January. I bought a one-way plane ticket to the Bahamas. I committed myself to a month of Karmic Yoga study at an Ashram. I’ll be staying HERE, practicing meditation, learning more yoga, and working without pay for five hours a day.

 

This is not enough.

 

Really. Going to the Bahamas is not ‘committing’ to anything.  Some people are saying this is just a long vacation, it’s not. I think it is more than that. I’m planning on learning a lot, I’m planning on being me and absorbing as much as possible. Hopefully I’ll meet some rad people who I can learn from, hopefully I’ll be that rad person that some people meet and are able to learn from.

 

This September, in order to prepare, I’m going to commit to a yoga practice every single day for the month. I’m unable to go somewhere to practice—I truly live in the middle of nowhere and only have my feet and bicycle for a vehicle, so my living room will be my studio, my matt will be place of worship, and my DVDs will be my instructors. I anticipate my roommate laughing at my ass in the air during downward dog, I anticipate not wanting to do it some days, I anticipate forgetting to do it, thinking I don’t have time to do it—the important thing is that I try. I intend to try.

Sometimes trying is harder than doing. Deciding to do something is harder than the actual following through, following through and accepting that idea can be the best feeling. I’m afraid to fail. I’m afraid that on September 3rd I’ll say “Screw this, where’s the couch?” but today I’m committed, today I’m planning on making it the 30 days, perhaps even longer, maybe I’ll continue this on for another month. Who knows?!

 

If you’d like to join me leave me a comment and we can support each other virtually! Or Private Message me on my facebook page, we can do this together. We can commit and unify as a team! Now, I’m going to go buy a new yoga dvd so I have a few options next month! Any DVD suggestions would be awesome! Any support from you would be awesome.

 

Old pic from yoga in Thailand

Old pic from yoga in Thailand

 

Instagram

I updated my facebook today with a few goals. I wanted to: Write, read, move my body and shower (pahahahha, I knowwww!)

 

I did all of those things BUT write, (I know, I showered…err, it was more like I rinsed the sweat off my body so I could look presentable to go to the Brewery). So here I am–attempting to write and feeling uninspired with Futurama blaring in the background, my beer fuzzy brain unable to type well or really think of anything too interesting to say. So, I’m going to leave you with a post encouraging you to follow me on Instagram [Sloanderr] and watch as I take photos of coffee, beer, shameless selfies, nature, food, clouds, and what ever other random shit crosses my path. For now, it’s 9:14pm and I”m going to go light a candle, listen to some music and bust out my journal–who knows, maybe I’ll snap a photo and tweet [@sloan0] about it too.