A Conversation With Myself

At about 1:35 every week day morning I’m relived when I wake up and look at my watch. I think “Thank god, I still have three and half more hours to sleep.” I get up, go to the bathroom and quickly drift back to whatever dream I was in the middle of. Then at about 4:48 I wake up again, “Damnit, why can’t you just sleep until it’s time to get up?” I drift back only to be awakened fifteen minutes later by my alarm that I set sometime yesterday for 5:03am. I leap, literally leap because the buzzing scares me, out of bed, grab my phone and some how in my sleepy stupor make it quiet. I crawl back into bed and lay there hugging my phone like I’m trying to shush a baby that has been crying.

“Just stay in bed, it’s fine, you’ll go after work.”

“No, no, no. Get your ass up. You KNOW you’ll feel better.”

“Take today off. Don’t even worry about it.”

“Get up NOW. You know you won’t do it later.”


Ultimately, the angelic voice of reason wins and I roll out of bed, shut off my other alarms, grab and apple and drive to the gym. I literally have this conversation with myself EVERY MORNING. I’ve yet to give in. I’m at the gym by 5:20am latest and have realized that this is the perfect time to be there. The woman at the front desk laughs at the mop of curls on my head that I haven’t yet bother to tame in a pony tail, I nod ‘hello’ to the two women in their 50’s counting the calories tick away on the treadmill. I awkwardly try to not get in the way of the Mexican dude that seems to be on a mission to make his pecs bigger while rocking a flat billed hat tilted to the left, (I mean really, who has time to think about accessories when you’re getting to the gym by 5:30??) This is the time for me to zone out, focus on me and get my self set and ready for the day.

By 6:05 the parking lot is full and the people who hit ‘snooze’ are showing up. The pregnant woman walks the track, two middle aged guys throw around a basketball and I put down my weights and hit the elliptical for a few more minutes before heading home in the still glowing moonlight.   By 6:25 I’m in and out of the shower and making breakfast.

I’m never mad that I made it to the gym. I’ve had thoughts of turning the car around and crawling back into bed for another hour but then I know how angry I would be at myself. I’m a routine person, I’m learning that with this sort of routine I tend to succeed in more areas of my life, I smile more, I laugh more, I feel better and accomplish more. As much as I love and still am spontaneous I’m appreciating what I have right now and developing some habits that I know will help me accomplish even more in the long run.


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