Disconnection vs. Investment

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Where have the last two months gone? What have I been doing. What have YOU been doing? Winter has finally, hopefully, left us, and were on our path to Spring time. My birthday (in January) came and went, Valentine’s Day smacked us in the face, we sprung our clocks forward and now March Maddness status updates are taking over my Facebook feed and I don’t understand any of them. But now to personify a couple words that have been huge influencers in my life.

Disconnection is something one feels when they hit the road after 10 months of ‘living’ somewhere. Investing in a community is not priority, friendships don’t seem as sincere because there is no depth to them. A bedroom doesn’t develop personality and warmth after just a few months. Disconnection is a hard state to live in and a super easy state to leave.
Where do you lean towards? Where do you road trip to and have a hard time leaving? Is Disconnection a place that’s on your map marked with a star? Disconnection used to be my only home, I had a house on wheels and a backpack full of books, a journal and a tooth brush. Disconnection and I… we flourished together, knowing that happiness was just one stop away, one more plane ride, one more move, one more man in my bed, drinking buddy at the local pub or a cute coffee shop to waste my day in. Happiness, she was coming, she had to be around the corner somewhere, right? Disconnection promised me happiness elsewhere and I believed her every step of the way.

This is what I thought until I met Investment. Investment is a sneaky little bitch that crawls out of hole somewhere, trips you and makes you stop looking towards the horizon and just see the sunset. She and I together freak each other out. She’s not good at hanging out with curly haired, independent ladies that love an adventure away from where she is. She doesn’t move quite as fast as I’m used to but we’ve become friends so I’ve learned to slow down for her, to take a little more time and think a bit more about each move, each choice I’m making.

Investment has encouraged me to sign up for a certification program. She’s helped me find ways to read the words I write to an audience. She’s taken my heart and began giving it to another person so I can’t just leave even if I thought I wanted to. Investment knows me and knows that I can’t end my relationship with Disconnection but she knows that right now we’re not a good fit. Right now I’m starting a garden for the summer and I’m planning trips to far away states and I’m becoming a regular at my favorite coffee shop. She knows that I wonder about my lease ending in August and respects the fleeting thoughts of mountain paths and crashing oceans but understands that now we’re friends I’m sticking around for a while.

As much as my heart wants to fly away I am here. I am present and I am navigating this new friendship with an open mind and adventurous soul.

Shit Got Real

I tend to ‘go big or go home’ in my life. Sometimes the two of these concepts intertwine–like right now. It took me three days to rent a car, pack my stuff, quit my job and land safely in snowy Michigan once again after the holiday vacations. But this time it’s for a bit longer. I made the choice to leave for many reasons but mostly I need to start moving forward in my life. As much as I like sitting on a spin bike for hours I don’t like not going anywhere and that’s how I felt. I tried, I failed, I experienced and learned a lot, but ultimately sitting in front of a computer where I was was not a good fit. I’m amazed and thankful for all the support I have in my life on both the leaving and receiving ends of this huge change I just made. 

For now I’m setting goals, one of which is to quit ignoring this blog–however my computer died (errrrr, I spilled coffee on it…). So I’m looking for opinions on iPad VS Surface for my newest device. 

I’m also trying to figure out what to do for my….BIRTHDAY next weekend. If you’re in the GR area hit me up I’d love to see you. 

But for now I’m job hunting and future life planning. Any and all life ideas are welcome. 

 

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What’s It All About?

Moving is weird. Picking up and moving everything you own is kind of a strange concept. Moving without packing up everything is an even stranger idea, I own very little. I now live in Maryland, western Maryland. I’m closer to West Virginia and the Amish of Pennsylvania than I am DC and Baltimore.

            I left Michigan more or less on a whim. When I left Oregon I had anticipated going back by the end of July to spend my summer running the trails, biking, swimming at the reservoir and sipping on the craft brews of the best coast. Instead, I packed up my little suitcase, stole some of my Mum’s shoes and booked it east toward Wisp Mountain and Deep Creek Lake, now, owning even less than I did before. Most of my ‘stuff’ is safely stored in the basement of my friend in Southern Oregon. I spent nearly $200 at Target yesterday getting ‘stuff’ I need—like hair gel, workout shorts and underwear. All ‘stuff’ I have…in Oregon. 

           

Now, the lake is in my back yard, Wisp is just a short ride away and I’m waiting tables at a place called Black Bear Tavern with teen moms, long haired former raft guides, and old men that tell me I have a cute butt. But when I retire my apron at the end of the night I go home to a view. On my days off I’m able to head to Ohiopyle, PA and hit the river, go across the lake to the State Park. I can ride my bike and take photos of my newest obsession—barns and silos, little churches and road signs.

            Moving is weird, but it’s also exciting. It’s fun to get to know a new area, new people and stretch who I am. I’m able to expand my perspective on a new place in this country and explore. And to me exploration is what it’s all about. 

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