Writing hasn’t come to me. I fall asleep when I read. My journal is no where to be found. I force myself to run, lift and yoga–when I do I’m always happy. Always. I’m trying, still trying, to get out of this funk and get back to doing what I love. I find myself on Facebook and InstaGram way too much, being jealous, pining for the days that I was on the road, wishing I was in the mountains or with those friends I met so many years ago. Today that changes.
Today I move. My car is packed and I am literally sitting in the spare bedroom at my Mother’s house on the bed that is stripped of sheets, freshly vacuumed and void of everything mine. Finally, I’m moving home…home will now be Chicago and I’m planning on enjoying it, being who I am and becoming who I want to be. But right now Facebook and InstaGram are flooded with people Hashtag-ging (#) 100DaysOfHappy and writing about what they are thankful for, happy about, excited about RIGHT NOW IN THIS DAY. So I’m jumping on the band wagon.
Since I can’t seem to keep up with blogging, journaling, reading or anything else I’m giving myself the task of Instagraming and Facebooking #100DaysOfHappy every day. Starting with today. By adding a new status or a picture everyday brings accountability to my ‘writing’ but also forcing me to recognize that every day there is something to be happy about, even on the most horrible days we can all find something to be thankful for.
#100DaysOfHappy #Day1 Today I move to Chicago and I’m an incredibly happy and thankful for the people in my life that have been so outrageously supportive of me the last six months. (You know who you are, I don’t need to list you)
Here’s the plan: Follow me on IG @Sloanderr to see pictures of #100DaysOfHappy or I’ll be updating them on here as much as I can and feel inspired. I have a feeling the next 100 days is going to be an intense emotional roller coaster and I’m nothing more than excited!
Early afternoon rolls around and I’m supposed to take a break in the workday to not go over my hours. Though I’m in a funk, I feel like taking a nap, reading my book, watching TV; it’s time to move my body—my plan? Head to the gym, bust out 90 minutes of strength training and cardio. Boring, but convenient. LA Fitness is a quick drive from work and home… my new boss/friend/roommate/landlord and I pull on our shoes and head out the door. We’re both trying to shake this sleepy, tired, unmotivated feeling.
The sun is coming out. We could hit the trails. She says.
It’s still cold… I’ve become a baby. I want the elliptical, weights and TV to zone out to.
Come on, let’s just go. She’s not going in the direction of the gym. You know I didn’t plan on going to the gym, right? She looks over from the driver’s seat with a damn smirk on her face. We’re headed towards Twin Lakes Park.
Alright, let’s do this.
50 minutes later we’re both out of our funk, we’ve run up and down, across streams, over roots and through trees. Thank you. I say. The vitamin D, fresh air, getting back to the trails was needed and has somehow been put on the back burner lately. Lesson learned: Trails trump the gym any day. I just need to remember that when the snow is falling, the wind is blowing and I feel like being a baby. Remember the post run, post OUTDOORS adrenaline rush I always get.
I forced myself to crack a new journal today. I have been back from South East Asia for over a month now and I had yet to write anything. I’ve hardly blogged, I went from journaling twice a day to not at all. This is weird for me. I’m in a funk. A full body and mind encompassing funk. Yep. There are other clinical terms certain people chose to use, but like many parts of my life I like to use euphemisms.
I left the house, because lord knows I can’t concentrate here. Just like in college, I do my best work elsewhere. So I bought a fountain soda and I drove to a beautiful Lake Michigan overlook. I sat in my Mother’s convertible, I left the top 40’s pop radio station on and I opened up my pink polka dot journal and I wrote. It was nothing profound but I whined and complained through words that came out of the tip of my pen. I wrote a list of things that piss me off. For the sake of balance: I wrote a list of things that I like too.
Lists are the best way for me to just write. I can always think of one more thing to add or a new list to start. So in this funk my list of piss were pretty damn negative. I was even pissed at the sun. The SUN is on my list of things that piss me off. (It was really hot, I had sweat dripping off my elbows.) But then once I started the other list things I like flowed quickly and steadily.
There were silly things. The first three or four things on that list are beverages. (Coffee, beer, iced coffee, diet coke through a straw) I mean, really… but they were all positive. There are all things that in this moment I enjoyed. And that is how I got through today and made it a not so bad day. Baby steps people, baby steps.
I like the tiny straw