The Waiting Game

I’ve entered the waiting game. It’s a game that tests my patience, my strength, my creativity and sees how well I can follow directions. So far the game is tied: 1-1.

The Doctor took and X-ray and saw nothing, she then told me not to run, (duh, I can barely walk) not to do squats, lunges or thigh machines. I shouldn’t do the elliptical if it hurts, but the bike is okay. In the mean time I got an MRI (holy loud and claustrophobia!) and am trying to keep myself busy at the gym with weights and ab workouts—and now I wait, I wait 48 hours (now we’re at about 34 hours) until the doctor is supposed to call me and tell me if she sees a stress fracture or not. Stress. Fracture. Two of the most dreaded words a runner can hear.

Before I left her office Monday she told me I needed more calcium, (I grew up with a phobia of milk) so, lady runners, please start taking a supplement NOW The chocolate chew things are a nice sweet ending to a meal that gives you your daily calcium!

Now I’m left in limbo. Floating in this middle area where I’m afraid that if I push it I will permanently damage something or some bone that is important, and in this area where I lose my level of productivity if I’m not getting in some sort of workout daily. I’m scrambling something to satisfy what both my mind and body needs.

So what am I doing?  How am I taking control? I’m looking back, reevaluating my fitness routine and adding in weights. I used to lift often and then got obsessed with cardio and running. I’m finding if I pump the iron before I attempt some sort of cardio I get a great 30-45 minutes weight lifting working out in! Lift first, attempt cardio second, (I say attempt because if it hurts I DON’T DO IT!)

I am going to win this game. Enough said. My Dad used to have a t-shirt that said “ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING” it’s generally not programmed into my personality to be super positive, in this case I’m pulling a George and doing what I normally wouldn’t do—I’m staying ridiculously positive that I WILL be running again, I WILLwalk normal, I WILLbe able to pull my jeans on without having to sit down.  My Dad also had a t-shirt that said “NO PAIN—NO GAIN” I know it’s going to be hard, it was hard to get out of bed at 6:30 this morning just to get on the bike I miss running, I miss going fast outside, I miss it.

1-1.  Injury’s point came when the pain was so great that I couldn’t get on the elliptical (my last grasp at sorta feeling like I was running,) my point came when I got creative: hot yoga, intervals on the bike and a killer ab workout. Any tips or workout suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

Now, I wait… and if you know me at all: I’m not very patient.

You Gotta Listen!

I feel like life is a series of us asking ourselves a long list of questions. Questions that we never really get definitive answers to. These questions, when you’re a kid, seem like the biggest issues that you’ll ever have to face. Like, who do you invite to your party? Or, chocolate or vanilla? Even questions like where to sit in math class—you don’t want to sit in the back and be associated with those kids, but you also don’t want to sit right up from and be a teacher’s pet, ewww.

As we grow up questions are a bit more important, ones like where to go to college, or do you drive after that last beer?… all of these decisions impact our lives in one way or another. Same as they did when we were younger, we had to ask ourselves these questions and ultimately the final decision came down to what we wanted, what your heart and head thought was right for you not anyone else.

 

So, where am I going with this!? What on earth could this possibly have to do with running? Per my last post, you must know that my bum hurts, bad. My (amazing) roommate (who is basically a Doctor) helped me figure out what is probably wrong, however—I haven’t been able to run for two solid weeks. My relationship with the elliptical is bordering on inappropriate. Not only am I sick of starring at the TV while I crank away on the machine—I’m mentally tired and missing my daily run, daily does of vitamin D and daily sightings on the road.

I’ve been asking myself a series of questions: does it realllly hurt that bad? (Yes.) Can I cross-train hard enough to finish this race that I planned on for April? (Probably.) Do I want to hinder my recovery just to do the race? (Hinder my ability to run? HELLZ NO!!!)

I want to recover as soon as possible. I want to enjoy this summer on my feet, in the trails and with my running group. I emailed my training buddy the other day telling him my qualms and booty pains, he confessed his running hasn’t been going well either. He’s older, a seasoned runner, an Ironman veteran, and knows that there are other races, other events to train for. He’s decided to listen to his body and pull the plug on the race.

In turn, I’m pulling the plug too. I’m being forced to listen to my body, (something I know I’m not good at, I tend to get stubborn and ignore key factors, my heart wins, my head is shut out and I don’t give my body the time of day to speak up)

I’m ready to train so that I can train for a race again. No more questions, just an answer. I have to admit that I can’t do this race and that’s okay. I’m going to sit in the middle of the classroom, I’m going to swirl chocolate and vanilla because they’re both so dang good, and I’m not driving after that last beer—I don’t want to risk it! One race isn’t worth my running “career”.