I Said I’d Write

I said I’d write.

But so many things have been bouncing around in my head that I keep telling myself that I just can’t seem to focus…

-I need new tires. Well, only two new tires, the front ones are what they say are ‘bald’. My boyfriend is bald, but I guess a bald head is better than bald tires.
-Tires are expensive. I should find the cheapest, but still quality, tires and just get them. Everyone has an opinion, “Go to Terri Tire, ask for Karl, tell him Artie sent you–get the Kelly tires. He’ll get you a deal”. “No, no, no. Walmarts will have the best deal, go there.” I know Walmart isn’t plural, the boys at the coffee shop would beg to differ.
-I don’t want to shop at Walmart, but I might have to. Cheaper tires from Walmart are cheaper and safer than bald tires sliding through the Main St. light.
-Family.
-Moving. Joining. Embracing and moving forward. (I know, vague, right?! It’s vague in my head, too)
-School.
-Chicken! I made a garlic/herb butter and slathered that shit all up under her skin. She’s currently in the oven, has been for almost an hour; another 30 minutes and she’ll be crispy, tender, and hopefully delicious.
-She’ll come out of the oven, maybe I should crawl in. It’s so warm and the UP is so cold.
-Bald boyfriend is building me a head board. (smile emoji)
-A bathtub would probably be the better option to be warm, instead of crawling into the oven. A saner option at least. Alas, I do not have one.
-School. Oof. School. “What’s your goal with going back to school?” Honestly, I just want to be smarter, I want to study, I want to care about something again. Stop asking me, leave me alone, you don’t think I don’t ask myself these things??

…just the tip for you tonight.

xx

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I’m The Worst

Seriously. Trying to be committed to this getting this site up and going consistently is like starting a new health and fitness routine and then all the ice cream in the world is in front of you–I’m having a hard time, you guys.

By trying to prioritize TheSoleSearch has taken a backseat. To what?! You ask?:

-Binging on political articles
-Personal writing
-Work
-Sleep
-Watching as much Shameless as humanly possible
-Drinking with my neighbor and watching the Daily Show
-Trying to find sunshine in gloomy gloomy Chicago

So you see, really important things. I’m not going to post this as a re-commitment to posting every week (I’ll TRY, I promise), but I am posting this to remind you that I’m still here, that if you email me I WILL respond (I promise THIS).

How about a Wednesday nugget of wellness advice?:

Remember to disconnect. Remember that you do in fact have two hands (not one hand and another that has a phone attached to it) I would suggest not taking your phone when you run across the street to get a coffee. Turn the phone upside down when you’re having a conversation with someone. Go to the gym, or yoga, or whatever–sans device. Just try it. I, too, will be making a more conscious effort to dis-harbor myself from my i-phone.

The Inside is What Counts

A couple days a week my alarm goes off at 4:02 am. Honestly, it usually scares the shit out of me and all I want to do is throw my phone against the wall and curl back up and fall back asleep. But 4/5 times I don’t. I have a conversation with myself that goes something like this:

Go back to sleep, now. Really. Do it. 

No, no, no. 

Do it. That extra 35 minutes will make a huge difference in your day!

But will it really? I don’t think it will.  Get your booty up!

SLEEEEEEEEP. 

Nope, you’ll be so mad at yourself. Get your ass up, brush those teeth and go. 

And then generally, I get up. A little mad at that voice still, but I go. I go to work 40 minutes early and I get my work out in. (I usually snap about it @sloanderr) with a pic of myself, not so happy and whatever time it is, usually 4:43am.

 

I am a huge proponent of finding your own intrinsic motivation. What does that mean? It means being able do something because you’re motivated by how it will make you feel, not by some sort of external reward dangling in front of you. Another, non fitness, example–for me, this blog. I’m both intrinsically AND extrinsically motivated.

Intrinsic: I do it because I love writing, I love teaching and I the feeling of accomplishment I get when I finish a post. It’s really uplifting and I feel like I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing.

Extrinsic: I love seeing the ‘views’ number go up. I love comments, I love getting ‘likes’ and responses. Engagement is huge (hint hint…)

Trust me: if I was ONLY extrinsically motivated for writing, I would fall short most times I post. My followers are growing, but it’s happening very very very slowly and that can be frustrating in this day and age–we all want immediate gratification, right? But I enjoy the process and hope that eventually others will enjoy my site as much as I enjoy the process of it.

Let’s bring this all together–if you can hone in and develop your intrinsic motivation, it will make not hitting the snooze button a lot easier. Try to start listening to that little, tiny, quiet voice that is egging you on to get up and get moving. That voice that mentions maybe you don’t need that second cookie. Maybe it’s a voice suggesting you need help. Try to listen and see if there is any internal reward by listening. I trust that when you start doing this, that voice will get louder and clearer. I can help you find that voice, if you let me.

When you start to listen, start to pay attention to how you feel inside. Fitness and healthy habits really start by acknowledging the internal feels, and then you start to see the external results. Eventually, all of this stuff becomes habit–

…unless it’s 4am…I’m not sure if you ever get used to that.

 

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