First off I must apologize. If you’ve seen, talked to, emailed, looked at my Facebook updates in the past week you’ll notice that I’ve been cranky, mean and in just a bad mood. I apologize. When I can’t do what my body wants me to do I get frustrated and I take it out in all forms: texting, calling, social media whining…etc. My back hurts, I can’t run, I can barely breath with out pain shooting through my body. Honestly, it took me 10 minutes to get out of bed this morning.

But enough! Enough complaining. This post is not another vehicle for me to complain. I want to thank some people in my life.

My parents who have been listening to me all week whine, complain, cry and have read text messages so depressing I’m literally crying when I sent them. Why do I send them? For some reason I think someone will hear my sob story and be able to snap their fingers and make it better. Not the case unfortunately.

The community here is amazing. Both routes of massage and acupuncture I’ve taken in attempts to get better. These healers have been so kind and compassionate in trying to help me. I must exude the need for a hug this past week. I was greeted by a woman I had never met with a smile and a hug and the promise that she’d work her hardest to help me. I was greeted with another hug and a gentle hand by another local healer. It’s amazing what simple touch can do to make one feel better.

My friends are awesome. I’m whiney, depressed and I’m sure really annoying. I literally broke down at the gym the other day, sat on floor by my friend while she did downward dog and I cried amongst the kettle bells I can’t swing, and the fitness balls rolling around. I’ve worked too hard to give up, but I had to surrender and cry for a moment and she listened and assured me that I’d make it though. And I will.

I’m still angry at all the runners running by my window. I’m still upset that I can’t get off the couch with out wincing, but I’m thankful and fortunate for what I do have.  At this point I have no idea what’s wrong and what is going to get me healthy and running again, but I’m so thankful to have people in my life willing to listen and try and carry some of the burden. I apologize for being cranky and annoying, but I thank you for listening and being there for me.