A Ranting Race Report [and some fun alliteration]

All times and dialogue are an approximation. This is neither fact nor fiction, just my memory of the first 24 hour 100 mile race I competed in on July 23 in New Castle, VA.

 

 3:45am:

I don’t think I fell asleep.

My ass is on the ground in the hammock the I attempted slumber in.

It’s still dark.

Racers mill around. Check lights on their bikes. Eat bananas. Gu. Honey waffles. 5 hour energy. Caffeinated water.

I want coffee.

I have no coffee.

 

4:28am:

Why the hell did I sign up for this?

 

4:30am:

Gun shot, 103 racers on mountain bikes tumble after each other in the dark. I’m keeping an eye on my race partner, Mike, and we too are off. Ready to climb the mountain.

 

6:57am:

We crest what we think is the top of the mountain. Take photos. Smile.

I don’t even remember 3:30 this morning. I actually feel good!

 

7:22am:

It wasn’t the top. We’re climbing again.

Mike, where the hell is CP [check point] 1?

 

7:30am:

Found it.

CP 1. Fuck yes! Only 19 more to go!

 

11:42am:

Off the bikes.

Thank god.

 

1:03pm:

Mother fucking fucking bees fuck fuck fuck. This is the only time I’m crying today Mike. Fucking bees mother fuck fuck.

Bee attack while bush wacking through the woods.

 

2:38pm:

Walking. On a road. In the middle of fucking nowhere. 103 degrees.

Is it bad I haven’t peed all day? I think I’ve drank 8 gallons of water and haven’t peed once. I must be dehydrated. I think I’m drunk. I…I …

 

3:45pm:

A nice lady give us water. And Diet Coke.

I could marry you right now.

Mike beats me to the proposal.

 

4:32pm:

We miss the paddle portion due to a huge storm and are bussed to the next CP.

I’m pissed.

 

5:00pm

Opting out of optional check point seems like the logical answer.

Let’s go.

Holy fuck that bike seat does not feel good. Hoooooo man.

Note to self: if I do this again BODY GLIDE.

Note taken.

 

5:01-10:40pm

Sunset happens. I don’t really remember this section to be honest. My mind probably blocked it out on purpose.  We rest. Mike and our new friends lay down, I stand.

I don’t want lactic acid to pool in my legs. You guys will regret lying for so long.

They do. Back on the bikes. More hills. More elevation gained and lost.

I’m not even tired any more. My ass just hurts. I’m sick of Sport Beans. Clif Bars. Beef jerky. Honey stuff. I want a burger. No, pizza. Ice cream, yes, ice cream. And pretzels.

 

10:53pm:

It feels like we’re in a green house. The temperature and humidity are in the 90s and it’s hard to breath.

I just want to sleep. No. I just want to not be walking on the fucking road anymore.

 

11:56pm:

We lost our new friends.

I’m over it. They’ll find their way.

 

12:21am:

Holy shit Mike, we’re done.

We’d been racing for what feels like years. Ronny, the race director welcomes us, shakes my hands, I think I’m high.

Holy shit. I just did this. I need a shower. I still haven’t peed.

 

1:00am

I sleep I my car.

 

6:22am

Real food.

Hell yes. I’m doing another. I know what not to do now.

 

Next post: the OTHER 100 miles, 24-hour race I competed in. Yes. I did it again. And it was glorious.

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