Updates

So I feel guilty. I feel like I’ve hidden big parts of my life from the blog-o-world and that I just have failed at being at all consistent. I love writing, I love posting on here and connecting with people. So my new goal is to take the time to post once a week. I’ll pick a day soon and make that my day to write and post and keep myself accountable. For this post I’m going to list and elaborate on a few areas of my life and what is happening in them.

First off: I am enrolled in school! I am half way through a 6 month Personal Training program. The goal is to be fully certified and employed by the end of October! I love it. I love working out, I love motivating people and spending time with them. It’s not just about lifting heavy things. It’s a connection to your body, mind and spirit  Each time I begin to wonder if I’ve made the right decision something happens to remind me that this is where I should be. That where my values and goals line up have pushed me to be here and doing this–I may not be the thinnest, fasted, or strongest but I damn well work hard and want to help others help themselves.

Second: Umm, I have a boyfriend… for those of you who know me you know that I generally don’t stick around long enough to formulate a tight bond with lots of people, we’re six months strong and having all the fun. We leave for a trip to Alaska in three weeks and I can’t wait! I’m hoping this trip will scratch my need for travel for a bit longer. My soul is in need of some nature and a 6 day trip to the 49th state will be incredible.

Thirdly: Holy shit I’ve lived in Chicago for ALMOST a year! Whoa… Weird… that’s a new adventure all on it’s own–I’m going to go right ahead and pat myself on the back for not moving when things got hard. I’m not saying I want to be here FOREVER, but it’s good for the right now.

Here’s a few things I’m loving about Chicago:
-Bike commuting
-My urban garden
-Opportunities (being in school is possible, taking a writing class, all the people to meet!…)
-Day drinking on patios
-Public transportation
-The weirdos I meet daily (Everyday I walk by a guy with a lampshade on his head saying “Lighten up, have a good day!)
-The sunsets
-Being near a big airport
-Bike commuting… did I say that? I just really love riding my bike in the city, then also riding my bike 20 miles South of the city.

Well. There ya go. A super boring post, but now with my readers caught up on my life I feel like I can be on even playing grounds to start writing about what is super current. Can’t wait!

Bike riding!

About 20 miles south of the city

Biking!

Biking!

Harvest

Harvest from my garden

Hiking

The boyfriend

That Bullshit, Non-Existent, Right Time

Come on Sloan, get your shit together. 

I’ve avoided wordpress for some time now. I haven’t completely avoided writing, or speaking, or life, I’ve just avoided this particular site due to wanting to do it right. You would think that I’d have learned by now, there is no RIGHT way to do things. Things aren’t just going to happen, We have to work for them. And right never really comes. If we can do something perfectly the first time, why bother?

I worked hard on a couple essays last month and actually read them. In front of people. Those hours I spent in front of the screen prove that work pays off, I didn’t wait to work, I just did it. We get applause and encouragement when we make that effort and not only that, we get results.

Right now I’ve started back in school. I did school once, graduated with a BA, learned some stuff, had a few jobs, learned what I DON’T want. This school is not traditional school, not at a college or university. I’m spending the next six months (minus 2 weeks) in the basement of a big office building, in the gym. These past two weeks I have learned what the Rectus Abdominus is, and what a joint action is and which direction they go with what movement.

I finally pulled the trigger to learn how to be a personal trainer. I have wanted to do this for close to eight years. When I look back at myself eight years ago I was in college, I was running 30 miles a week, I looked fit and healthy. Probably weighed a few dozen pounds less than I do now. Why didn’t I do it then? Fear, lack of confidence and knowing I wasn’t practicing what I would be preaching…

Why am I doing it now??! Not because I had an epiphany, not because the time is right. my life has never really lacked direction–it’s always pointed me in the ways of: Writing, Travel, Fitness, Education, a direction I just didn’t really know how to harness. A direction that I lacked confidence in.

I’m not skinny. I USED to be, I USED to be REALLY skinny. Well, kinda too skinny thinking back. So skinny that I was proud of myself on days that I was under my allotted 900 calorie goal. PROUD of starvation. Gross. I knew I was doing it wrong but I got results, as a former fat-girl every pound lost was a victory. This was not the mentality of a successful trainer and I knew that. So I held off.

As years and pounds added up I wanted to wait until it was the ‘right time’. When I could fit back into those smaller jeans, when I could run a faster mile, and like the reflection a bitmore–those goals haven’t happened and I finally decided that I was sick of waiting for that bullshit, non-existent, right time. The time is now.

I’m not skinny, but I’m healthy. I’m healthy and excited about making other people healthy and excited. Honestly, my body confidence is low right now, but in the past two weeks I’m learning, I’m studying, I took a test today and I think (I HOPE) I did well. I’m going through a program that is going to boost my knowledge and by having that knowledge I can only imagine that my confidence will grow.

What’s held you back? What propelled you forward when you knew you needed to make that move? Where are you now?