Uncategorized

Saying Goodbye

/ Sloan / 7 Comments

I enjoy it. For me it’s more of a routine, it’s a ritual and an experience–a moment of silent bliss. Grinding the beans, pouring the hot water…waiting…pressing the grounds down to reveal a deep, rich, aromatic liquid. Coffee is a way to connect with my mind, check in and relax. It’s an opportunity to connect with someone else, it’s a tool to bring people together and get things done–or not. It’s a way to kill an hour before work or relax after a stressful day. The mug warms your hands and perks you up, as the steam gently rises it can fog your glasses and the smell takes over your senses and a feeling of joy can take over.

 

This is direct quote from my journal while sitting at Rowster’s in Grand Rapids this past Saturday. A conversation with my older brother is what inspired it. A conversation about quitting coffee. If you know me, you know I have a love for it. Hell, I have a tattoo that depicts my love for the stuff. So why on earth would I consider quitting?! My brother, who he himself has quit many vices and is a better person for it, thinks it will help me. Help me sleep better (kinda a ‘duh’), help me be more productive (I’m skeptical of this one,) help my moods, my skin and he listed many many other reason why I should quit.

So I’m going to quit coffee for three months.

I repeat. I am going to quit coffee for the time being.

They say (not sure who ‘they’ are…) say that it takes three months for a given substance to be ridded of your body. I’m going to journal about it, listen to my body, mind, soul and productivity. I’m going to attempt to blog (and not complain,) about it. I’m going to try and not take up any other addictions in this process. Right now my ONLY addiction is coffee.

An apology in advance: if you’re my facebook friend, REAL life friend or snap chat buddy I’m apologizing NOW for whining, maybe crying and probably sniffing your coffee if you consume it in front of me. I’m dreading the headaches and already missing my routine. If anyone has any good tea suggestions (decaf of course) I would love to hear them.

 

Wish me luck. Follow me on here and join me on this…sigh…journey as I say goodbye.

 

Image

 

Pay It Forward

/ Sloan / Leave a comment

>PING<
You know when Facebook makes a noise and you see the notification is from someone you don’t recognize. Someone you friended when Facebook was new and you just wanted all the friends you could get. >PING< Who is this? >PING<>PING<>PING<

The message is long. Who is this!? Reading, she apologizes for being ‘creepy’, and identifies herself as someone who I went to summer camp with 12 years ago. 12 YEARS ago! An image of a chubby me in braces carrying a riding crop and mucking stalls flashes in my head. I think back to the cheers, the horse back riding lesson, being too self conscious to put my swim suit on and swim on the hot July days. I remember family style dinners and waking up before the sun to hike up the huge hill to the horse pastures.

Ashley’s e-mail begins by talking about an inspiring talk she had heard (I wondered if she’s as obsessed with TED talks as I am,) the speaker talked about the power of kindness. Ashley said my 13 year-old self had comforted her when she was homesick. That something I said impacted her not only in that moment but she had carried it with her for the last decade and a half. The idea of being open, caring and honest without fear of judgment had led her to be as compassionate as she says my 13 year old self was. I was speechless after I read the message. I had no idea how to respond. I was in shock that something I had done when I was so young had been kept close to someone’s heart for so long. I remembered the girl, I remembered  that summer, but I didn’t remember that moment.

So I thought back to a time where I felt vulnerable and someone had helped me. I wrote Ashley back, thanking her for thanking me (awkward,) and said that she had inspired me to ‘pay it forward’ and tell someone from my past how much I appreciated a small act of kindness and tell them how it had effected me. Just by acknowledging these small acts I think inspire people to continue to do them. We don’t do them for recognition or gratitude,  most of the time we don’t even know the things that may have profound influence on someone else, but I think the acknowledgment can be really powerful.

So I did. I emailed someone and thanked him. I don’t expect a response or a ‘thank you’ in return. I wanted him to know how he had made me feel on a certain day and maybe it will encourage him to think back to a time and ‘pay the thanks forward’ to someone from his past. Do me a favor and do this. Spread this love, this peace, this powerful energy–cast your web further and dig into your past (deep into it or to yesterday) and say thank you. The power of gratitude is incredible.

Don’t Be My Friend

/ Sloan / 4 Comments

Don’t be my friend. I’m searching for a friendships that will leave me guiltless when I leave after six months or a partner in crime that will come with. A circle of friends that will give me community for a short time and let me belly laugh and smile mischievously as we plan adventures. Hang out with me if you’ll let me tell my stories and inspire you to make stories of your own. Most likely if it’s winter I’m dreaming of the year I spent hot and sweaty climbing Buddhist Temples and praying at the foot of a thousand year old statue, drinking warm beer and hot coffee on the street. If it’s summer I’m cursing the tourists who come here for a week and forget to notice the enormity of the Lake, the power of the Waves and the beauty of each Sunset and Sunrise we can witness each day.

Don’t be my friend if you expect me to not make a game out of mundane activities and to not connect with the people I’m surrounded with. Please remember that community is important and an interesting conversation can be had at the bar, at the beach or on a bus tumbling through a far away land. Don’t be my friend if you don’t want me to question you, I expect to be questioned in return–because I like to talk and share and most of all I like to listen. Don’t hang out with me if you can’t handle hard questions.

Don’t be my friend if you don’t want me to encourage you to try yoga with me tomorrow morning before work, or after work. If you don’t want me to try and spur up your deepest dreams or suggest you download that flight searcher app and play hooky with me to go try a new brewery. Don’t hang with me if you don’t want to be pushed into a diagonal weird direction you never though you’d go.

Don’t be my friend if you don’t want to hear about my confusion of ‘life’ and how I might be ‘missing out’ by not being ‘somewhere else’. Don’t be my friend if you can’t attempt to reel me back in, calm me down and remind me that where I am is where I’m supposed to be for the moment. When I freak out could you remind me that there is a huge, incredible, beautiful Lake down the road that just by looking at it lowers my heart rate, softens my eyes and brings on a true smile.

Don’t attempt to be my friend if you don’t appreciate those kind of moments because those moments, those small seemingly insignificant moments, are the ones I live for. They are the times in life that we look back on to appreciate. Those moments are the ones we call upon when we’re in a bad place, in a physically or mentally dangerous situation that we think about to lower our blood pressure and remember that there is something that you can come back to. Coming back to the breath and the seemingly small moments are the ones that play a huge roll in life. Don’t be my friend if you don’t understand this.