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Updates

/ Sloan / 4 Comments

So I feel guilty. I feel like I’ve hidden big parts of my life from the blog-o-world and that I just have failed at being at all consistent. I love writing, I love posting on here and connecting with people. So my new goal is to take the time to post once a week. I’ll pick a day soon and make that my day to write and post and keep myself accountable. For this post I’m going to list and elaborate on a few areas of my life and what is happening in them.

First off: I am enrolled in school! I am half way through a 6 month Personal Training program. The goal is to be fully certified and employed by the end of October! I love it. I love working out, I love motivating people and spending time with them. It’s not just about lifting heavy things. It’s a connection to your body, mind and spirit  Each time I begin to wonder if I’ve made the right decision something happens to remind me that this is where I should be. That where my values and goals line up have pushed me to be here and doing this–I may not be the thinnest, fasted, or strongest but I damn well work hard and want to help others help themselves.

Second: Umm, I have a boyfriend… for those of you who know me you know that I generally don’t stick around long enough to formulate a tight bond with lots of people, we’re six months strong and having all the fun. We leave for a trip to Alaska in three weeks and I can’t wait! I’m hoping this trip will scratch my need for travel for a bit longer. My soul is in need of some nature and a 6 day trip to the 49th state will be incredible.

Thirdly: Holy shit I’ve lived in Chicago for ALMOST a year! Whoa… Weird… that’s a new adventure all on it’s own–I’m going to go right ahead and pat myself on the back for not moving when things got hard. I’m not saying I want to be here FOREVER, but it’s good for the right now.

Here’s a few things I’m loving about Chicago:
-Bike commuting
-My urban garden
-Opportunities (being in school is possible, taking a writing class, all the people to meet!…)
-Day drinking on patios
-Public transportation
-The weirdos I meet daily (Everyday I walk by a guy with a lampshade on his head saying “Lighten up, have a good day!)
-The sunsets
-Being near a big airport
-Bike commuting… did I say that? I just really love riding my bike in the city, then also riding my bike 20 miles South of the city.

Well. There ya go. A super boring post, but now with my readers caught up on my life I feel like I can be on even playing grounds to start writing about what is super current. Can’t wait!

Bike riding!

About 20 miles south of the city

Biking!

Biking!

Harvest

Harvest from my garden

Hiking

The boyfriend

I Surrender.

/ Sloan / 4 Comments

The lights dimmed so dark that at 5 o’clock on a June evening I had to pack up my supplies for the day and head out before the sky opened up. I shut the windows and locked the door in time to hear the sirens start. Still no rain. Maybe I can make it. Unlocking my bike I felt a drip on my shoulder, shit, it started. The sky ripped open and began to fall. I throw on my helmet and move move move. I’ll be home in ten minutes, I won’t be soaked, just damp. I turn the wrong way thinking it’ll be faster. Wrong. I turn around, sirens blasting from every direction, head lights starring from ahead and behind. No one knows where to go.

I nod at another cyclist, she’s given into the rain I think. I still hold on, I’ll just be damp. Pedestrians run from the bus covering their heads with news papers, jackets, whatever they had in their hands, a coffee cup, is he trying to CATCH the rain? I speed back to the right street take cover for a second and hide my phone deeper in my back pack. It needs protection.

I see a man in a business suit with head phones in looking like he’s out for an afternoon stroll, smile on, head bopping to some sort of happy beat. He’s surrendered. I slow down, I realize I’m going to get wet, I am wet. I Surrender. I let lose. I smile. I ride. I let go. I let loose of the protection I thought I needed, dryness isn’t safe anymore. I Surrender.

I Let Go. I let go. I LET GO. Iletgo. ILetGo. ILETGO.

I relished in the moment of complete surrender and tranquility. Sirens were blaring around me, people were scattering like ants, busses created tidal waves at every intersection and people worried about their shoes getting wet. Wet was inevitable. The air was warm, the rain was soft, the sky was dark and stormy and purple and beautiful. The storm took over and I let it.

There’s Gotta Be More

/ Sloan / 1 Comment

I had an entire post written. Then I deleted it because, well, it was pathetic and self depreciating and no on wants to hear that.

I found myself journal-ing about not really having the desire to seek out new things. Not having the desire to have ‘life altering conversations’. I do have them, few and far between, usually via text to a friend in Oregon or Pennsylvania or Colorado. Conversations about fear, desires, dreams: I used to have over a coffee, or a beer, or after too many beers. These are good, earth shattering conversations. Ones that are meant to change the world, change my life, or change the life of someone else.

Now most of conversations consist of topics like: beer, farm to table food, the proper form to do a lateral pull down. Running. How bad the winter sucks in Chicago. How bad the CTA sucks in Chicago. How we can’t wait for summer. Day drinking on patios.  All legit conversations to have, but pretty easy and unremarkable. Though Chicago does have some really great patios to drink on…

But wait. Wait wait wait. What I can’t figure out is if I have changed or gotten lazy. Or if I don’t have the people around me to have these convos with. OR everyone around me actually has their shit so together that they don’t crave conversations about life, energy, love, nature… I do believe that I’ve changed, changed in the sense that I recognized my need to stop running away from what ever it is I run from. But that recognition shouldn’t hinder me from exploration connections. Is this what getting old is like?

[Side note, I’m in Chicago another year guys… this’ll be a record for me]

But I do think we need to go back to conversations about more than just patio drinking and money. I dream of traveling. I dream of being successful and stable. I dream of doing more than just going through the motions.

I guess that’s what life feels like at the moment. Just going through the motions.

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