Author: Sloan

I’m a Capricorn, Hear Me ROAR

/ Sloan / Leave a comment

I have a horoscope app on my phone and I generally read about my sign, the Strong and Stubborn Capricorn, everyday. I don’t know if I necessarily believe what it tells me but I do know that I like to read it to look at my life in a different light. It has a way of turning what I was processing into something else, or shedding light on a situation that I may not have paid attention to otherwise–it’s generally positive and encouraging so I figure “why not” read it!

The other day it said something about goal setting, not listening to what other people were telling me, realizing what I want and not thinking it was silly etc. I didn’t think much of it, it didn’t really sink in or resonate with my life for most of the day until I picked up my journal and started writing. I wasn’t writing about anything in particular, just normal life-obsessing-over-things-I-can’t-control stuff. and then it hit me. I realized I have a goal that is important to me and I wasn’t pursuing it because some other people didn’t seem to think it was that important. It’s something that virtually everyone my age has to deal with. Well–I don’t want to deal with it. It’s my new focus. This goal is something I wasn’t to start and finish and be done with for the rest of my life. So that’s what I’m working towards.

Capricorns are supposedly Goal-Setters and follow through-ers and Stubborn and Strong. So whether or not the date of my birth and the place of the sun versus the moon and if Mercury was in retrograde or not–I’m going to utilize these innate skills I’m supposed to have and push-on, carry-on and move the hell forward, because what else IS there to do?

Saying Goodbye

/ Sloan / 7 Comments

I enjoy it. For me it’s more of a routine, it’s a ritual and an experience–a moment of silent bliss. Grinding the beans, pouring the hot water…waiting…pressing the grounds down to reveal a deep, rich, aromatic liquid. Coffee is a way to connect with my mind, check in and relax. It’s an opportunity to connect with someone else, it’s a tool to bring people together and get things done–or not. It’s a way to kill an hour before work or relax after a stressful day. The mug warms your hands and perks you up, as the steam gently rises it can fog your glasses and the smell takes over your senses and a feeling of joy can take over.

 

This is direct quote from my journal while sitting at Rowster’s in Grand Rapids this past Saturday. A conversation with my older brother is what inspired it. A conversation about quitting coffee. If you know me, you know I have a love for it. Hell, I have a tattoo that depicts my love for the stuff. So why on earth would I consider quitting?! My brother, who he himself has quit many vices and is a better person for it, thinks it will help me. Help me sleep better (kinda a ‘duh’), help me be more productive (I’m skeptical of this one,) help my moods, my skin and he listed many many other reason why I should quit.

So I’m going to quit coffee for three months.

I repeat. I am going to quit coffee for the time being.

They say (not sure who ‘they’ are…) say that it takes three months for a given substance to be ridded of your body. I’m going to journal about it, listen to my body, mind, soul and productivity. I’m going to attempt to blog (and not complain,) about it. I’m going to try and not take up any other addictions in this process. Right now my ONLY addiction is coffee.

An apology in advance: if you’re my facebook friend, REAL life friend or snap chat buddy I’m apologizing NOW for whining, maybe crying and probably sniffing your coffee if you consume it in front of me. I’m dreading the headaches and already missing my routine. If anyone has any good tea suggestions (decaf of course) I would love to hear them.

 

Wish me luck. Follow me on here and join me on this…sigh…journey as I say goodbye.

 

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Pay It Forward

/ Sloan / Leave a comment

>PING<
You know when Facebook makes a noise and you see the notification is from someone you don’t recognize. Someone you friended when Facebook was new and you just wanted all the friends you could get. >PING< Who is this? >PING<>PING<>PING<

The message is long. Who is this!? Reading, she apologizes for being ‘creepy’, and identifies herself as someone who I went to summer camp with 12 years ago. 12 YEARS ago! An image of a chubby me in braces carrying a riding crop and mucking stalls flashes in my head. I think back to the cheers, the horse back riding lesson, being too self conscious to put my swim suit on and swim on the hot July days. I remember family style dinners and waking up before the sun to hike up the huge hill to the horse pastures.

Ashley’s e-mail begins by talking about an inspiring talk she had heard (I wondered if she’s as obsessed with TED talks as I am,) the speaker talked about the power of kindness. Ashley said my 13 year-old self had comforted her when she was homesick. That something I said impacted her not only in that moment but she had carried it with her for the last decade and a half. The idea of being open, caring and honest without fear of judgment had led her to be as compassionate as she says my 13 year old self was. I was speechless after I read the message. I had no idea how to respond. I was in shock that something I had done when I was so young had been kept close to someone’s heart for so long. I remembered the girl, I remembered  that summer, but I didn’t remember that moment.

So I thought back to a time where I felt vulnerable and someone had helped me. I wrote Ashley back, thanking her for thanking me (awkward,) and said that she had inspired me to ‘pay it forward’ and tell someone from my past how much I appreciated a small act of kindness and tell them how it had effected me. Just by acknowledging these small acts I think inspire people to continue to do them. We don’t do them for recognition or gratitude,  most of the time we don’t even know the things that may have profound influence on someone else, but I think the acknowledgment can be really powerful.

So I did. I emailed someone and thanked him. I don’t expect a response or a ‘thank you’ in return. I wanted him to know how he had made me feel on a certain day and maybe it will encourage him to think back to a time and ‘pay the thanks forward’ to someone from his past. Do me a favor and do this. Spread this love, this peace, this powerful energy–cast your web further and dig into your past (deep into it or to yesterday) and say thank you. The power of gratitude is incredible.